Teaching Our Girls to Trust Their Intuition
Overcoming the voice of doubt
In the quest to raise confident girls, a lesson we tend to overlook is teaching them how to trust their intuition and ignore the voice of doubt. We hardly ever talk about that demeaning voice that resides inside most of us. We barely admit it exists. The consequence of this absent conversation is that our girls think the voice of doubt is the one that speaks the truth. After all, that voice is often the loudest voice they hear.
For doubt to survive, it requires a deafening roar. It thrives on making us feel insecure and feasts on fallowed confidence as it drains from us. Its the bully that lives inside us that keeps us small so it can grow big. It demands all the seats at the table because doubt and confidence can not exist in the same space.
Confidence comes to us in a secure, quiet voice, housed in our spirit and intuition No thunder necessary. All it asks is that we acknowledge its presence. This awareness is enough to get the job done. But how often do we forget that it is there?
So, where do we start? How do we get our girls to distinguish between the two voices and tune into their spirit? We start by guiding them back to themselves. There was a time when your daughter trusted herself. Remember that six-month stint when the only shoes she wore were bright red cowgirl boots? Or that time she dressed for school in a red sparkle skirt and camo shirt? There was a time when she heard her confidence speaking to her, and she readily embraced it. Then puberty rudely entered the premises, and she suddenly became aware of the world around her. Social expectations rained down upon her, and she started doubting who and what she was. How do we guide her back to the red cowgirl boots? We get her to use her voice and in doing so, hear the wise words of her own spirit.
Below are a few talking points to get your girls to start trusting their intuition.
Ask open-ended questions about their day.
Tell me the best part/worst part of your day. What made it the best/worst part of your day?
Ask for their opinions on meals, family activities, or vacations.
Validate their opinions and thank them for sharing.
Guide them to listen to their intuition when faced with difficult situations.
Wow, that is hard. What are your thoughts on that? What would you do if you were her?
Encourage them to self-assess
What skills do you have that you can use right now to get through this situation? What do you think you need to help you get through this situation?
Let them make mistakes.
Talk with your daughter about how you work through doubt to hear confidence.
Talk about the voice of doubt.
Explain to your daughter that her intuition is the calm, wise voice, not the harsh voice that says you aren’t talented, smart, or good enough. Imagine those voices were people. Whom would you listen to? Which one would you trust?
Teaching girls to listen and trust their intuition is vital for future success. Once they understand they are already enough, they become unstoppable.
