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I am gearing up. It would seem the awful pandemic is ending, and soon we will be socializing. While my introverted self is excited about being around a few people again, I refuse to go back to some of my former toxic social habits. The biggest one- saying yes to volunteering to avoid the guilt-ridden breach of good manners I felt when saying no. I will not ever do this again, thanks to a group of wise 10-year old girls.

For most of my life, I believed a woman’s role was in service to others. To say no meant hurt…


Letter 3- Bras

To the fresh faces who are curious about the colorful palettes, delicate scents, and shiny facades that when mixed create beauty culture.

Sweet Girls,

If you are reading this, then someone, or perhaps you, have brought up the subject of bras. So, let’s talk.

Puberty is one of the most awkward words in the English language. I wish there was a cooler word to describe the stage of development when a pre-teen body starts to grow into an adult body. However, that’s the word we have, so that is the word I will use. Puberty involves not only hormones that…


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Letter 2- Shaving

To the fresh faces who are curious about the colorful palettes, delicate scents, and shiny facades that when mixed create beauty culture.

Dear Sweet Girls,

It is great that you want to start shaving! It’s an exciting moment. Before you do, could I share some thoughts with you?

I was living in England when I first noticed my leg hair. It was an “all of a sudden” moment for me. I had never noticed it until one day while I was sitting in 6th grade PE and pulled up one of my pant legs. Underneath that pant leg, was a…


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“There is no natural body, but only a cultural body.”

“The body is a reflection of the society that presided over its creation.”

Denia Bruna

In a world desperately trying to correct gender equality, we still have one sticking point that’s slathered in pink lipstick: The effect of Beauty Culture has on young girls. It is time to start speaking truth to what it is: An antiquated expectation held over from a time in history when the only job for a woman was to marry and start a family. To secure a husband the young lady must be pure, beautiful…


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A story told in parts in hopes you will find a stepping stone to help you cross from perceived Broken to fully Human. You are worthy. Part 3 of 3

It is one thing to unlearn something in your heart, but to unlearn something with your mind is a wholly different thing. The neurons are fused together, to pry them apart is sweaty work. It pushes you into chairs at the UN-comforTable. Nonetheless, this is what it takes to stop the myth of broken and flow into humanness. We reckon with the realizations that life is hard, and sometimes people’s best is still sucky (thank you for that lesson Brene Brown). We understand the lessons we learned from family, culture, and religion were taught by people who didn’t know better…


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A story told in parts in hopes you will find a stepping stone to help you cross from perceived Broken to fully Human. You are worthy.

Part 2

But, I didn’t know anyone else who was ashamed because they were constantly feeling inadequate. Sharing such a feeling felt too vulnerable, too weak. So, I kept up the charade and left the sham of a smile on my face. A life built on a faulty foundation will eventually crumble. The construction is weak, and your spirit is a wrecking ball. My emotions were in constant flux, happy one minute, anger and…


Artist-Thiago Matos

A story told in parts in hopes you will find a stepping stone to help you cross from perceived Broken to fully Human. You are worth it.

Part 1

I was elementary when I realized I was not pretty and therefore, unworthy. I remember standing there looking at her. Her words cut me. They were sharp, painful, and true. I blinked back tears as she said again, You aren’t pretty enough for middle school. Her green eyes were so cold. I mean it would take a cold-hearted person to say such truth to the shy girl, the girl who never had a boy who liked her, any real talent, or athletic ability. …


Empowering our girls one conversation at a time.

Helping our daughters find worthy friends.

School is back in session, and our children are once again with their friends. During the pandemic and self-isolation, many of your daughter’s friends may have changed, and relationships altered. Navigating friendships is a befuddling experience full of laughter, heartbreak, exclusion and inclusion. Teaching our daughters the concepts of Fitting In versus Belonging will help build confidence and establish relationships that can last for years to come.

The end of elementary and middle school is a breeding ground for Fitting In. We are at the stage of development when we are trying to figure out who we are, and to…


Image from Pexels, Artist- Kaique Rocha

The sacred space where spirit and mental illness meet.

The morning cries out with the sound of the alarm.

To others, it is an annoying beep. To me, it is the start of another broken day. It yells, Get up and run so you will be worthy. Worth comes from running and controlled eating.

The world is still asleep at 4:45 a.m. The darkness matches the broken.

I do not know if I love The Running or if I hate it. The truth lies somewhere in between. I run to be perfect. Because I am a good girl, I repeat quick prayers to He Who Blesses. Rote prayers rehearsed…


Empowering girls one conversation at a time.

Overcoming the voice of doubt

In the quest to raise confident girls, a lesson we tend to overlook is teaching them how to trust their intuition and ignore the voice of doubt. We hardly ever talk about that demeaning voice that resides inside most of us. We barely admit it exists. The consequence of this absent conversation is that our girls think the voice of doubt is the one that speaks the truth. After all, that voice is often the loudest voice they hear.

For doubt to survive, it requires a deafening roar. It thrives on making us feel insecure…

Heather Stark

Heather is the founder of Grace and Grit, a company that promotes the worth and potential of all girls.

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